Be careful what you wish for...

I wanted to be an at home mom.

Now I am.

I'm okay. A little shell shocked... but okay.

Timing is scary, but I have faith.

When the Lord closes a door, somehow he opens a window...

It's there. I just have to find it!

The Climb

Watched this movie with my kids tonite... Pretty much says it all for me right now!

I can almost see it
That dream I’m dreaming but
There’s a voice inside my head sayin,
You’ll never reach it,

Every step I’m taking,
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking but I

Got to keep trying
Got to keep my head held high

There’s always going to be another mountain
I’m always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes you going to have to lose,

Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb

The struggles I’m facing,
The chances I’m taking
Sometimes they knock me down but
No I’m not breaking

The pain I’m knowing
But these are the moments that
I’m going to remember most yeah
Just got to keep going

And I,
I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on,

There’s always going to be another mountain
I’m always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes you going to have to lose,

Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb

There’s always going to be another mountain
I’m always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes you going to have to lose,

Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb

Keep on moving
Keep climbing
Keep the faith baby
It’s all about

It’s all about
The climb
Keep the faith
Keep your faith

Renew

Adveristy is an amazing thing.



The tough stuff always has a way of forcing you to start again, and figure out where to go from here.



My grandfather, Ed Miller, had a saying. "Let's go forward from here." As today is the anniversary of his birthday, I would like to talk a little about this concept of starting from here and moving forward as a method of renewal.



My planner is full, and I haven't looked at it, and I mean really worked in it, for about 3 weeks now. Because of my hero's illness and the craziness I have expereinced, I haven't had the time/energy to deal with all the other stuff.



I do have the time now, but not the desire.



The more I look around, the more I see that I need to simplify my life in so many different ways.



I sat down yesterday and put together a list of my goals for now. These are not "Bucket List" goals, rather, they are things that I need to do to maintain my peace. Having a clean slate, as it were, has given me a chance to start again, and you bet, am I gonna take it.

It's a RASH of adveristy!

Things were looking up last week, and I was holding my own with the help of my Heavenly Father, when Friday night, we were thrown, yet again, for a loop. (Seriously, how did Job do this???)

Hero developed an allergy to his intravenous medication. That's right... we were pumping his body full of stuff it didn't like, pretty much right into his heart via a vein. FEVERS, CHILLS and RASHES oh my!

We went back to the doctor Sunday morning, and they changed his medications. We are now dosing him once a day (instead of three times) for a hour (instead of an hour and half). Today we had a follow up and he is doing so much better.

I dropped Hailey off at the church yesterday so she can go to camp. I'm jealous/nervous but I know she will have a great time. When I have 30 minutes where I am not working or playing triage nurse, I will post some pictures of her departure. I loved girls camp.

Ivory Hill performed at one of our new favorite venues - TOAST - on Saturday night and did such a great job with special guest Irene Taylor! Their balance is infectious!

Today, I am back at work, and can't say that is a bad thing. I really do love working here. If I could just work during the day, it would be perfect.

A special THANKS goes out to my ice cream supplier, WenSu, for Sunday night's treat-and-feet walk! It helped give me the boost I needed to get through these next few days.

Our Stake Conference spent a lot of time talking about Adveristy, and that has been a pretty common theme as I have been reading the Book of Mormon with Hailey and Katie lately. Even as I read the General Conference editionof the Ensign, more and more it comes out to me that trials are a focus for everyone, but that we are constantly being given the methods to get through the issues, and those methods are the same ones we have been employing since forever - Say your prayers, read the scriptures, follow the commandments and the prophets. The Lord never said it would be easy, but He did say it would be worth it. Sometimes I forget that that.

Thank you to those that remind me, either by telling me over and over, or by setting such a good example in the way you live your life. You mean so much to me!

The Latest

My Hero is home, pumped full of IV antibiotics every twelve hours.

He goes to see the doc again on Tuesday, then again on Wednesday.

He spiked a fever last night and we had to call the on-call nurse this morning. We dosed him up with some more meds, and the fever dropped, but he is pretty wiped out.

Hero's mom, who came out to help, got sick on Thursday.

The basement is moderately flooding with the rains.

And, you know what?...

I'm okay.

I talked to my Heavenly Father last week. I told him that I couldn't carry all of this. I am trying so hard, but I know that I, by myself, am not enough.

He is picking up the difference. He is giving me the strength to go on. Even if we are plodding along one step at a time.

I love that he is there for me!

Better Again...

The PICC line is in, the anitbiotics are in, and now we are waiting to see how he does for the next 24 hours. If things go well, we will get to take my Hero home tomorrow afternoon (provided I learn how to administer the IV doses properly).

While not the perfect solution, this one will work for me. I can't wait to be cuddling him at home.

I hope that he continues to get better.

If everything goes according to plan: He will probably be on the PICC line for another 2 weeks, to be followed by 4-6 weeks on the oral medications.

Thanks for the concern and the prayers!

They are appreciated!

DJ Watch

For those of you who are not completely updated...

I apologize.

This week has been a major blur, and it isn't over yet.

My Hero is in the hospital.

He was admitted last Friday night 11:30 pm with cellulitis in his left calf. Immediately put on IV antibiotics, he basically slept for 3 days.

Improvement. Not super significant, but improvement none the less.

Yesterday, HOPE.

They took my Hero off of the IV meds to watch his response on oral medications.

This morning... DEFEAT.

The swelling has come back worse than before.

Now they think that he has an abcess under the skin that is filling with infection and fluid.

They wanted to do an MRI, but My Hero needs a special one that is not located here, so they either ship him in an ambulance (can you say MOOLA) or try something different.

Which leads me into my rant for the day... Insurance is dumb. It would be NO BIG DEAL for me to put my husband in a car and take him to the MRI, except that insurance prevents that option and apparently it is a big deal.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR...

So, once again, my husband is in the hospital for an undetermined length of time while we wait to see if/when he gets better.

So, this morning, we are watching The Price is Right, and I can't help but giggle at the irony.

Please continue to pray for best possible outcomes in our behalf.

We appreciate your concern so far!