Sunday, August 25, 2013

Appropriate Parent Noise

The other morning, Hailey texted me from seminary asking if she could go to a friends house to spend the night.  The standard questions followed...
  • Is your homework done?
  • Are your chores done?
  • What are the details of the visit?
Questions 1 & 3 were pretty easy for her.  Question 2 stopped her short.  She told the friend she would not be able to spend the night, because she had to catch up on chores.  Not that chores are a gross imposition on time - when completed daily it usually only takes about 15 minutes TOTAL - but when not completed - all week - it takes awhile.  The point of the story...  I didn't have to tell her no.  She knew what the answer would be all on her own.

Saturday, the same progeny was at a friend's birthday party.  Her ride was ready to leave, but she was not.  She called for permission to stay.  The standard questions...
  • Is your homework done?
  • Are your chores done?
  • Who are you with?
  • Who is bringing you home?
  • When will you be home?
Successfully answering all the questions brought her to the conclusion that she could, in fact, stay the extra time at the birthday party, with permission from her parents.

That was the point...  she, by thinking through the questions she knew I was going to ask, was able to process a reasonable explanation why what she wanted was valid.  This morning, as I met with each of my daughters, we ran through our normal questions.
  • What is your schedule for the week, and do I have that information in my planner?
  • What assignments do you have coming up, and when are you going to do them?
  • What do your grades look like?
  • How are you feeling about your family expectations? (chores, exercise, etc)
  • How is Personal Progress coming along?
These are normal.  They are the standard.  So, why, then are they so hard to answer.

Then I thought about the questions we are asked, through loving leaders, by our Heavenly Father.  These questions include, but are not limited to:
  • Did you read your scriptures today, personally? as a family?
  • Did you pray today, personally? as a family?
  • Did you have family Home Evening this week?
  • Did you go to the temple this month?
The questions may repeat, but they set a foundation for our days, that will bring us closer to our Heavenly Father.  It is his Appropriate Parent Noise.  Are we listening, pondering, and responding???