Doors and Windows

Open 'em up...  That's what I usually say.

In this heat and humidity, keep them closed so that the air conditioning can work.

Metaphorically speaking, however, I have been closing a lot of doors for better windows lately, and I can't say that I mind so much.  It was a pretty common occurrence for me to say "Things will slow down when summer comes."  It was also pretty common for me to say "Yes" to everything.  All of that is changing.  For the first month, life was pretty crazy, but now, there is a definite period of scheduling and  peace.

The girls are headed off to camp today.  Then 3 weeks at their dad's.  I have a standard routine at "work" and another at home.  It's hard to believe that school is only 8 weeks away.  The summer has just flown by.  I am grateful for the peace the Lord has given, and for the blessings He sends each day.

Have a beautiful week!

Youth Conference 2012 - Arise and Shine Forth

Wednesday night, after having Hailey pack her bags for her first ever Youth Conference, I drove the girls to see Hunger Games (again).

The phone rang.

"Sister Binkley, could you help as a group leader for Youth Conference...  you know...  in 12 hours?"

Yep.  I can.

I made arrangements for Kate to spend a night with grandma, called DJ to make sure it was okay with him, and then started packing.

Changing plans like this is not usually smooth sailing for me, but...  this time, it was cake.

The Lord had this in mind all along.

I still cannot think of the weekend with out the spiritual upliftment draining from my eyes.  The youth with whom I worked are valiant spirits.  They are loving, kind and know the gospel.  They know their Heavenly Father loves them, and they know how to pass that love onto others around them.  (The stripling penguins are superheros!)

I know that to be true because they did more for me than I ever could have done for them.

At testimony meeting today, I shared:

The fourth verse of "I Feel My Savior's Love" - 
I'll share my Savior's love by serving other's freely.  
In serving I am blessed.  
In giving I receive.  


He knows I will follow Him.  
Give all my life to Him. 
I feel my Savior's love, 
the love he freely gives me.


I know that the youth with whom I worked, I, myself, and all those served in Lincoln NE this weekend are children of a loving Heavenly Father.  He is there for us.  He sent us Jesus Christ, His only begotten Son, to show us how to live, by serving others - every minute of every day.  He sacrificed His life so that we may return to live with our Heavenly Father again.  I know that Joseph Smith restored the gospel to the earth, and brought forth the Book of Mormon, and that Thomas S. Monson is the Lord's mouthpiece on earth today.  The principles they teach within the gospel of Jesus Christ, as taught within the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints are true.

This weekend's experience truly reinforced to me how grateful I am for the knowledge of the truth and the comraderie of the gospel.  I am so grateful for my Savior!

Memorial Day

This weekend has definitely been one of good memories.

Garage Sale-ing with mom and dad.

Hailey's birthday party.

Wendy's birthday run and movie party.

Going to church and playing piano for Primary.

Like I said...  Good memories.

Today, I am most grateful for the men and women that preserve our freedom.

My sister-in-law's brother just returned from Afghanistan on Friday evening.  He is amazing.

As I thought about those who serve, including my brother, father, and grandfather's, I am in awe of the strength, character and discipline they demonstrate.

Thank you to our service men and women!

Happy Mother's Day

Today in sacrament meeting, a member of our ward (a mom) spoke about what a mother thinks.  She shared a beautiful quote from Elder Jeffrey R. Holland's "Because She is a Mother" talk during the April 1997 General Conference.

But one thing, she said, keeps her going: “Through the thick and the thin of this, and through the occasional tears of it all, I know deep down inside I am doing God’s work. I know that in my motherhood I am in an eternal partnership with Him. I am deeply moved that God finds His ultimate purpose and meaning in being a parent, even if some of His children make Him weep.

“It is this realization,” she says, “that I try to recall on those inevitably difficult days when all of this can be a bit overwhelming. Maybe it is precisely our inability and anxiousness that urge us to reach out to Him and enhance His ability to reach back to us. Maybe He secretly hopes wewill be anxious,” she said, “and will plead for His help. Then, I believe, He can teach these children directly, through us, but with no resistance offered. I like that idea,” she concludes. “It gives me hope. If I can be right before my Father in Heaven, perhaps His guidance to our children can be unimpeded. Maybe then it can be His work and His glory in a very literal sense.” ⁷

Mother's Day was not my favorite this year.  Healthwise, I have been struggling a lot, and today was very uncomfortable for me.  Were it not for my Primary class, I probably would have not even gone to church.  Then, during Sharing Time, one of my little friends leaned over and cuddled into me.  Intuitively, because he is like that, he must have known that I needed the little extra cuddles.  The difference it made was astounding.  He's not even my kid, but I love him so much.  I love all of my Primary friends so much.

When I got home, I did not take care of myself as I should.  I didn't eat, and needed a nap.  The business of being a mom took over, and, instead of relishing the time I had to enjoy my family.  Without thinking twice, I ruined the whole day in the motions of completing the daily grind.

Often, I think of the Savior chastising me, in his words...  "Thou art cumbered about by many things...  choose the better part."  It is so hard to determine what that really is.  If I don't clean the house, then how can the Lord be here?  If I spend time playing with the kids, then how is dinner going to get made?  The lists of things that must be done go on and on, and never does there seem to be a break. My children are growing up so fast, and I am missing out on so much.  It's becoming harder to send them away rather than easier, and where they go, I am not permitted to follow.  6 more years...  That's it.  Then they will be adults and off on their own.  How do I make that time count?

The instructions set by the Lord answer these questions time and time again.  Family prayer, family scripture study, family home evening...  It always goes back to those family activities.  It's truly all about the family.

That ending seems so anti-climactic, but it really is the pinnacle of all.  Without Hailey and Katie, there is no me.  They are my reason for living each day of my life.  I am a mother because they are the greatest gifts a loving Heavenly Father could ever give.  My thanks be to Him.

I decided, this year, to write thank you notes to my children on Mother's Day.  They always try so hard to make it special for me, and I want to express gratitude for them.  For the beauty they bring into my life.  While they are too personal to share here, they are written on my heart.

To my readers who are mothers:  Happy Mother's Day.  May you bask in the warmth and love of a partnership with your Heavenly Father, raising His children in peace and love!

Summer Fun!!!!

As tradition, here is the latest and greatest of Lincoln and Nebraska ready for summer entertainment and fun.  We have some of the old die-hards, and some new amazings...  (For those who are new to this...  I don't like being bored, so I look for stuff to do over the summer.  Here are some of the activities I found!  If you find more, then please let me know!  I'm always up for an adventure!)  Are you ready???

(A note first - some of these may have charges incurred.  It is up to you to check...)

Nebraska Passport - 10 Tours, 60 locations all over Nebraska, and rewards when you go.  Don't forget the Prize Entry form!  I printed out my information, but I think you can pick these up at some of the listed locations.

Here is the Lincoln Passport - A little closer to home, still amazing fun!!!

As always, I encourage childhood literacy, so take advantage of the Library Reading Program (this is for the little kids) and the Teen Reading Program (obviously for the big ones).  It's free and there are prizes for completing the activities!

The Great Park Pursuit - Sponsored by the Nebraska Game and Parks Commission is a great way to see all beauty that Nebraska has to offer.  Once again, you may be headed on a drive, but the view is amazing!  (And there are prizes!)

Kids Bowl Free - Seriously....  This is one of my favorite programs!!!  Sign up and your kids, ages 5-15, can bowl two games per day all summer long for FREE!  (You just have to buy them shoes, or rent shoes each time.)  If you go to Parkway Lanes (where we go...), they will sell you a little card for $10 that covers your shoe rental for the entire summer.  If mom and dad want to get in on the bowling action, $24.95 will cover the Family Pass, which gets mom and dad 2 games each day for the whole summer (but there is no special on bowling shoe rental).

The KFOR Punch Ticket - sold to promote PTO's at each elementary school, this $5 coupon sheet gives you access to a bunch of activities in and around Lincoln for free or majorly discounted.  Worth the $5, and all $5 go to your child's school.  (If your school isn't selling these, let me know and I can take your money and get these at H&K's school.)

Lincoln Parks and Rec also has some great activities going on this summer.

If you are interested in visiting particular cities, here are the links to their travel and tourism!

Omaha, 
Grand Island
Kearney
Nebraska City

Get out and have fun!  There is a lot to do!!!

Subterranian

This evening my family ended up in the basement.

No tornado warnings or anything like that.  Just a lot of laundry, couponing and watching tv.

This evening it was the Chopped Season Finale and Cupcake Wars.

More importantly, it was four people, busy in the world, taking a break from the crazy to just be together.

5 loads of laundry, 3 piles of coupon inserts and 2 baskets of unmatched socks later, I remember what my husband and kids look like.

As I reflect on our summer and the tons of things we are doing, it is becoming increasingly important to me that I slow down and give us one day each week clear of the "everyday" and just be together.  No place to go, nothing to see here.  It was so nice.

I'm getting too old...

There was a long period of time in my life when late nights were not a problem for me.

Honestly, I blame my stint at BYU.  I could be gone all hours of the day or night, and have the energy to go to class the next day.  It was awesome.

AHHH  YOUTH!

It continued into my adult years.  After I moved back to Lincoln, my social hour was after the munchkins went to bed.  My friends would come over around 9pm, and we would sit and talk almost overnight.  The first time, we were all eating pie, out of the same tin, around 2am when the first husband called to make sure his wife was alive.  This continued, party after party.  It became an institution.  If your wife was out at all hours, and you hadn't heard from her, odds are good I had something to do with it.  The true highlight was the night there was no power in my house, and we still sat around and talked in the dark until 2am.

I digress....

Then I had a job where I wouldn't get off work until 11 pm at night, and then I was totally wired for hours.
Unfortunately, approaching 35 (there...  I said it....) has led me to believe that the nights of midnight showings, dancing and hanging out until all hours are pretty much ending.

And then...  ENTER THE TEENAGER.

I'm not gonna lie.  My kids are good.

However...

Imagine a dark bedroom.  The mother and father are sleeping (soundly.. as in snoring).  The red numbers on the alarm clock indicate 3AM...

And the mother wakes.

There has been a disturbance in her force.  She can feel it.

The father wakes also.  He sees the light.

They watch through their open bedroom door, waiting for the tell-tale sign of life in the lair of the teenager.

The big light in the room comes on.

The teenager is warned.

One word.

Her first name.

The light goes off.

The parents wait.  That was too easy.

Only moments later, a smaller, fainter light flickers, then dies quickly.

The mother waits a moment then steals out of her room.

She stands in the dark, right in the doorway of the teenager's room.

She waits...  watching with the patience of predatory cat...  knowing the mistake will come.

(Interruption...  This was a lot less entertaining last night.  Trust me...)


And then...  the lighted vibration of the cell phone illuminates the darkness.

The teenager reaches over the side of the bed.

"BUSTED!"  cries the mother, and the teenager jumps.

The 13 year old is texting.  In the middle of the night.

Can you believe it?


Of course, the phone is now mine for the undetermined future.

The other electronics in the room, books and "crafting" supplies are also being confiscated.

Where did she get this???

Oh wait..  that was me...  23 years ago, with my desk lamp and a book under my covers.

Once again.

I'm sorry mom.

Part of me thought about keeping her up all night, 36 hours straight, just to teach her.

Then I realized that I would have to stay up with her.

I am way too old for that...

Searching for Truth

This morning, I received an email from a very trusted source, quoting a man from 1944.


The quote was inaccurate - verified by two internet sources reputed for their truth.


When I contacted the individual who sent this quote to me, she apologized, stated she hadn't checked, and asked me to "reply to all" and site my sources.  I did, and we have moved on.


As many of you know, I have become involved in the Republican Party here in Lincoln, NE.  While still in my political infancy, it has become increasingly important to me to set a few habits.  It is my hope that these can be shared across all political, cultural and social lines.

1. Check your facts.  If you think someone said it, then make sure before sharing.  You don't want people lying about you, don't lie about them.
2. Find a common ground.  There is always something to bring people together.  Start there, and move forward.
3. Agree to disagree.  At some point, your views are going to diverge.  Let them.  Agree that this is something you can't agree on, and look for another commonality.
4. "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."  Thumper's dad had it right (from Disney's Bambi).  Sometimes the best thing to do is keep your mouth shut until you have something positive to say.

I'm not limiting this to lines between politics.  I personally had an incident with a member of the same group as myself.  It was horrible.  I am truly grateful for these guidelines, because they helped me respond to her in such a way that dignity remained intact.

As a woman, it is imperative that grace and dignity, integrity and righteousness stay my lofty goals.

Said President George Albert Smith: “I desire to impress on you daughters of God … that if this world is to endure, you must keep the faith. If this world is to be happy, you will have to set the pace for that happiness. … If we are to maintain our physical strength and mental power and spiritual joy, it will have to be on the Lord’s terms.” (Relief Society Magazine, Dec. 1945, p. 719.)

From Russell M. Nelson:  A worthy woman personifies the truly noble and worthwhile attributes of life. A faithful woman can become a devoted daughter of God—more concerned with being righteous than with being selfish, more anxious to exercise compassion than to exercise dominion, more committed to integrity than to notoriety. And she knows of her own infinite worth. (Ensign, Nov. 1989)

I am far from perfect, as anyone who truly knows me knows, but I do try to become better each day.  That truth, virtue and kindness will be markers of my life.

O' Henry!

Sunday evening I found myself the caretaker of a 90 pound golden retriever.  He isn't staying at  my house, I'm just petsitting until tomorrow night, but he has been the exact motivation I needed for my workouts.

To be honest, I just haven't felt up to walking/running much lately.  There are lots of reasons, just no excuses.

• The friends that were my motivators are definitely past my level, and I fell like I hold them up.  
• It's beautiful outside, so I don't want to work out in my trainer's basement.  
• I've been so busy that sneaking a walk in is just not working.  
• 5:30AM is just too early anymore. 

See???  Excuses!!

I am letting it get to me pretty heavily, literally.  My trainer has tried to motivate me, but I am resisting really badly.  I've started to feel sluggish, frumpy and waddley again.  (My one friend said, while I was walking regularly that I "didn't walk like a fat person anymore.")  Now that I have been back on the fat person bandwagon, I can totally feel the difference in the way that I move.  It's just harder to get around.

That being said, Henry being in my life has definitely improved my outlook.  I know how to take care of dogs.  My high school years were the years of Jake and Brandy, the two greatest dogs ever - beautiful white german shepherds.  Dogs have to be fed, watered, played with, walked and brushed.  They are a responsibility and need work.  That has been a motivating factor for me.

Each night, we (some combination of Hailey, Katie and I) have loaded up in the car to drive over and walk Henry.  The first two days came in at some really slow paces.  This morning, I walked him alone, and brought the time up 5 minutes.  I may push a little harder tonight when we go for our walk.  If it isn't raining, I may even walk for a whole hour.

Next week, I have a "girly"/diabetic checkup appointment with my doctor.  I'm hoping there are some changes on the scale, but we shall see!

In the meantime - Thanks, Henry for helping me get back off the fat person bandwagon!

Good Boy!

Check out these great recipes!

www.realfoodreallygood.com

Fortress of Solitude

Today I thought about Superman and his secret lair.

Up at the North Pole he built, from crystals and ice, a "Fortress of Solitude" to which he could go to hide from anything and everything.

I wonder if cell service works amongst the polar bears and narwhals???

There are times when I am truly grateful for the concept of solitude.  This evening, for example.

I came downstairs to do laundry.  More than anything, though, I just wanted to be by myself.  To listen to the quiet and to feel the peace that comes from a good job well done, throughout the day.  To reflect on the coming day and to move forward without the pain and discomfort that arises in the midst of chaos.

I felt that peace tonite.  I felt the enveloping arms of solitude rise from the impenetrable frigidity of nothing and create a respite from the world.  Here, in the midst of solitude, I found peace.  With that peace I can carry on through the changing chaos around me.

Note of importance:  I was not alone.  My Heavenly Father was with me.  I could feel His Spirit in my mind and in my heart.  The comfort and strength renew my faculties and motivate me to press on.  Even in the darkest times, he is always there, and always with me.  It is in these times of solitude that I truly feel his presence and feast upon the love he bestows.  I am so grateful for all the blessings He gives.

So... this girl is totally gorgeous...

When, exactly did she go from adorable baby and toddler to gorgeous?  Not sure..

None the less...  She needed a bit more bling for her mouth!

Can't wait to see how amazing she looks and feels when the bling comes off!

(I don't know how it could be any better than the smile above!)

Love you, bug!

Countdown to Christmas

(Totally stealing from T-Starr, but it seemed the quickest and most efficient way to get my points across...)

1. Hailey and Katie are staying in Lincoln this Christmas.  Honestly, it is bittersweet for me.  I love that we get to have Christmas as a family.  They are sad because they wanted to see their brothers and sisters.  Fortunately, they are pretty excited about Christmas!  We are doing a lot of family stuff and that is awesome!
2. Hailey decided to go to Southeast High School.  While an East alumnus and fan, we made the decision to let her make this decision.  It was a tough call, because she wanted International Baccalaureate (Would you believe that I spelled that word correctly without looking at it or spell check???) at Lincoln High School, but after much study and prayer, that was a choice we could not give her.  Three years ago, when choosing a middle school, Pound became the answer to several prayers.  I am grateful that Hailey thinks through things and makes good decisions.  She is an amazing young woman (I totally typed "little girl" first... then I started to cry...  My baby is going to high school...)
3. Last night Hailey and Katie sang at their choir concert.  Band concert was two weeks ago.  Their talents amaze me!
4. My Job=Fantastic!
5. DJ is back at the O Street Burger King.  It's a faster pace, but I believe he feels at home there.
6. Several people have asked me what is like to have dad be the bishop.  Not really news there as he was a bishop when I was 12.  It's a little different now, but not too much.  He's my dad.  He is an amazing man, and I love him for his dedication to the Lord, his selfless service and the strength of his testimony.
7. Tomorrow I get to go to the temple with mom, dad and Irene!  Aaron and Whitney are coming west to go with us.  The girls are even riding up and taking Annabelle for a walk.
8. Tonite I am doing the awesome-aunt thing!!!  Four extra kids overnight so moms and dads can go on dates!  It will be fun!
9. I got a new calling at church.  The release from Primary Chorister was really hard...  best calling in the church, as far as I was concerned...  but the children I am now working closely with are true treasures of Heavenly Father.  I was actually called to work with these children, so I will transition with them at the New Year.  They are amazing!!!
10. Date night with DJ tomorrow night!  We are getting some hot chocolate and driving around looking at Christmas lights!  I can't wait!

On a personal note - If I don't write again before Christmas...  We wish you all the best this holiday season!  We love you and look forward to seeing you again!

Thanksgiving

We spent the day at mom and dad's today with the family.

After the news of the week, I was grateful for the opportunity to just enjoy everyone's company.

I turned on Pandora this evening while the girls and I were working in the basement.  Just as I was about to turn off the computer Journey's "Don't Stop Believing" came over the sound waves.  Of course, I could not turn off the computer right away.

Approaching the Holiday season is bittersweet for me.  I always start with my birthday...  end of September.

Then Halloween - just for fun!

Thanksgiving is truly one of my favorites.  I love the idea of taking time out to just say thank you!

Christmas...  that's it.  That's all there is.

I saw a picture at a store today that pretty much summed up my feelings.  Kneeling next to manger in a nativity scene was a Santa Claus figure.  At the bottom, in a brass plaque, was the inscription "I Believe".  This holiday season, I am grateful for so many things, but none so much as the gift of a small baby who grew up, lived and died, and lives again.  He set the example for each of us, and saves us when we don't live up to the expectations.  I am truly thankful for his gift.

This season, I strive to be thankful, not just at Thanksgiving, but throughout the season, for the gift of a Savior, and for His Father, and mine, and the wondrous miracle He is!

Red Kettle Run

A group of my friends and I ran the Red Kettle Run in Omaha on Saturday.  Okay...  They ran, I walked.  Took an hour, but loved the experience!

Thanks, everyone, for going with me!

Bike Rides

A few weeks ago, my friend Christy  and I decided to take bike rides together.

The first one was a disaster.

The second one was less disastrous, and I definitely rode farther.  I started getting excited about the rides.

Thursday morning, at 5:10am, I decide I am going to ride my bike to my trainer's house for my workout.  It's only 1.66 miles, and fairly level.  I can do this.

I am exactly 3 blocks from her house, when I get hit by a small suv.

No kidding.  It happened.  I'm fine.  Bike is fine.  All is well with the world.

For those unfamiliar, my brother, the judge, has been hit by cars while riding his bike twice.

This is not a family tradition I wish to continue.

Does that mean I will stay off my bike?  Absolutely not.  Way too much fun!!!  (the riding, not the getting hit by cars...)

Send in the Clowns

On the way home from Kansas City Sunday evening, a song came over the radio speakers.

Known simply as "Send in the Clowns," this song has been a long-standing personal favorite.

Isn't it rich?
Are we a pair?
Me here at last on the ground,
You in mid-air.
Send in the clowns.

Isn't it bliss?
Don't you approve?
One who keeps tearing around,
One who can't move.
Where are the clowns?
Send in the clowns.

Just when I'd stopped opening doors,
Finally knowing the one that I wanted was yours,
Making my entrance again with my usual flair,
Sure of my lines,
No one is there.

Don't you love farce?
My fault I fear.
I thought that you'd want what I want.
Sorry, my dear.
But where are the clowns?
Quick, send in the clowns.
Don't bother, they're here.

Isn't it rich?
Isn't it queer,
Losing my timing this late
In my career?
And where are the clowns?
There ought to be clowns.
Well, maybe next year.



The sentiment for me comes from my first memories of this melody.  As a child, we lived in close proximity to my dad's uncle and aunt.  At least once a month, we would drive up to their townhouse to spend time with them.  I loved visiting Aunt Edie.  They had the most amazing home...  a little organ, shelves upon shelves of books, a pool out the back door.  I learned so much sitting with her.  Even after the day she died, she was one of my favorite people.

Aunt Edie gave my family a music box.  Nothing fancy, it was a porcelain, pastel colored, about 9 inches tall and extremely fragile.  With 3 children in the house, it was bound to break, and break it did, but not before I fell in love with the two clowns and their instruments.  I didn't learn the lyrics of the song until much later, after the death of my Aunt Edie.

I remember the night that she passed after a long struggle with cancer.  I wasn't very old, maybe 7 or 8.  I remember being in my bed, and my parents talking in the living room of our home.  She had been in the hospital for several days.  Thinking back, it was probably pretty common knowledge that she was passing soon, but I didn't understand that at the time.  All at once, I knew.  She was gone.  I felt it.

In tears, I walked out to the living room.  Just as I crossed the doorway, the phone rang.  After 10 pm was not a normal time for our phone to ring.  My dad took the call.  He was very grave, and left quickly.  He didn't even say what the phone call was about, just that it was "time."

My mom looked at me and asked what I needed.  I told her Aunt Edie was gone, and she started to cry.

Aunt Edie was the first person I knew closely that passed away.  It was a difficult transition for me.  Obviously, though, her memory lives on.

Even now the lyrics of "Send in the Clowns" remind me of my Aunt Edie.  She was an amazing woman, though not always remembered for such.  Late in her life, with her suffering, she struggled with so much.  She seemed so trapped in her townhouse, in the eyes of a little girl, for that is the only place I knew her.  But she wasn't always thus...

Her career was that of a special education teacher.  She had unending patience and a childlike enjoyment of the simple things.  We shared an interest in toys, and would spend hours talking about our bears and dolls.  She threw me my first tea party, and gave me a tea set we would enjoy together.  We would read books, and I remember borrowing from her shelves book after book, only to return at a later visit and switch them out.

In college, the small organ became mine, but had to be left behind when the girls and I moved.  While I still have a few of the stuffed animals and dolls she left to my care, the haunting melody of "Send in the Clowns" still holds the strongest memories of Aunt Edie.  I think the memories of those moving on are much like the clowns in this song...  They are "already here" and then gone.

"Well, maybe next year."

Speaking in church

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints does not pay their ministry.  As a matter of fact, they ask you to participate even when you think you are the last person on the planet who should be helping.  Two weeks ago, I gave a talk based upon General Conference talk found here.  This is the talk.  There are additional quotes from here.  So, without further ado...

By nature, I am obsessive compulsive.  If things do not go according to my expectations, my lists and my advanced planning, I struggle with the deviation.

The real problem?  MY expectations are not those to which I should aspire.  MY lists are not the ones I should check, and MY advance planning is not the rock I once thought it to be.  As we all know, the floods come, and, unless we are planted firmly on the rock of the Savior, all the compulsive perfectionism in the world isn’t going to save us.

Ironically enough, I welcomed my topic today, for it reminded me much of the priorities I should have in my life and it gave me a chance to reflect on what is most important.  As I spent each day, following MY list of preparation for this talk, and muddled through draft after draft, it became clear to me, that I wasn’t writing MY perfect talk.  I needed to let my Heavenly Father guide what needs to be said.  It wasn’t until this morning, that I felt the talk “perfect”, mostly because there are inspirations herein I never would have come to on my own.  I know the Holy Ghost brought these to me.  I pray he will be here as I speak today.

Jesus Christ set a standard, and became the ultimate example, of living perfectly.  He is, even now, a perfected being.  We are asked, repeatedly, in the scriptures “be perfect even as I, or your Father who is in Heaven is perfect.”  (3 Nephi 15:48)

So – the obsessive list-maker inside of me says, what are the steps I need to take to reach that beautiful goal of perfection? What list boxes can I check to be like my Heavenly Father and my Savior, and to be with them?

In his October 1995 General Conference talk, Perfection Pending, Elder Russell M. Nelson states

The process of perfection includes challenges to overcome and steps to repentance that may be very painful.  There is a proper place for chastisement in the molding of character, for we know that whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth.  Mortal perfection can be achieved as we try to perform every duty, keep every law, and strive to be as perfect in our sphere as our Heavenly Father is in his.  If we do the best we can, the Lord will bless us according to our deeds and the desires of our hearts.

The enormous effort required to attain such self-mastery is rewarded with a deep sense of satisfaction.  More importantly, spiritual attainments in mortality accompany us into eternity.

Jesus Christ himself gave us a list of things to do to return to the Father.  Even the youngest Primary child can recite the list:  say prayers, individually and as family units, read scriptures, individually and as family units, go to church, have family home evening, go to the temple, pay tithing – the list goes on.

When comparing one’s personal performance with the supreme standard of the Lord’s expectation, the reality of imperfection can at times be depressing.  [We cannot] allow feelings of depression to rob [us] of happiness in life.

The perfection that the Savior envisions for us is much more than errorless performance.  It is the eternal expectation as expressed by the Lord in his great intercessory prayer to his Father – that we might be made perfect and be able to dwell with them in the eternities ahead.

 While working toward perfect execution of the Lord’s commandments, we must remember that our Heavenly Father sent the Savior, who provided the way for us to be perfected through our repentance, and his atonement.

How could the Father tell the world of love and tenderness?

He sent his Son, a newborn babe, with peace and holiness.

How could the Father show the world the pathway we should go?

He sent his Son to walk with men on earth, that we may know.

How could the Father tell the world of sacrifice, of death?

He sent his Son to die for us and rise with living breath.

What does the Father ask of us? What do the scriptures say?

Have faith, have hope, live like his Son, help others on their way.

What does he ask? Live like his Son.

I was particularly impressed with Elder Nelson’s observations with regard to the word “perfect”.  He studied both the Greek and English editions of the New Testament, and found that the word perfect was, in Greek, originally “teleios – which means complete”.  It is “derived from the noun telos which means end.”  “The word does not imply freedom from error; it implies achieving a distant objective.”

As we look to the pattern of the Savior’s life, and to the reflections of His life our own should be, we can ponder the effects of perfection through the stages, or spheres, of our existence.

When a “perfect” Christ – by perfect I mean that He made no mistakes, and committed no sin, at the hands of John the Baptist, immersed in the River Jordan, rose again, he completed, “perfected” obedience to the commandments of the Lord.  When baptized, we ourselves come forth from the water with sins washed clean, “perfect” at that time, in following the commandment of God.

With that background in mind, let us consider another highly significant statement made by the Lord. Just prior to his crucifixion, he said that on “the third day I shall be perfected.”   Think of that! The sinless, errorless Lord—already perfect by our mortal standards—proclaimed his own state of perfection yet to be in the future.  His eternal perfection would follow his resurrection and receipt of “all power … in heaven and in earth.”

Even the Savior continuously progressed toward a state of perfection – including the time of his resurrection, and receipt of all that his Father hath.  It is our goal to follow in those footsteps.

Resurrection is requisite for eternal perfection. Thanks to the atonement of Jesus Christ, our bodies, corruptible in mortality, will become incorruptible. Our physical frames, now subject to disease, death, and decay, will acquire immortal glory.  Presently sustained by the blood of life and ever aging, our bodies will be sustained by spirit and become changeless and beyond the bounds of death. 

Eternal perfection is reserved for those who overcome all things and inherit the fullness of the Father in his heavenly mansions. Perfection consists in gaining eternal life—the kind of life that God lives. 

The checklist spoken of before comes into play as we consider the Lord’s activities here on earth.  He “went about his Father’s work” by visiting the temple.  He read from the scriptures and attended church services.  He prayed to his Father in Heaven. 

People have never failed to follow Jesus because his standards were imprecise or insufficiently high. Quite to the contrary. Some have disregarded his teachings because they were viewed as being too precise or impractically high! Yet such lofty standards, when earnestly pursued, produce great inner peace and incomparable joy.

We cannot simply check these activities off a list once, but must continually do them.  Such efforts will help us come to know the Savior and our Heavenly Father and “become like Diety.”

“We should be called the sons [and daughters] of God. …

“… When he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is.

“And every man that hath this hope in him purifieth himself, even as he is pure.” 

Thus we see that the progressions toward perfection, the work, the successes, the failures, are not to bring us down, but to encourage us to improve, to become more pure, to become more like our Savior.

Continuing encouragement comes as we follow the example of Jesus, who taught, “Be ye holy; for I am holy.”  His hope for us is crystal clear! He declared: “What manner of men ought ye to be? Verily I say unto you, even as I am.”  Thus, our adoration of Jesus is best expressed by our emulation of Jesus. 

Unfortunately, we do not make the right decisions all of the time.  There are points where we fall, where there seems to be no end in sight, and where our struggles show no sign of lessening.  A very close friend of mine and I used to say “If only I can get through…. Then everything will be fine.”  I have found that it is not the end goal to just “get through,” rather it is the journey we take along the way that molds us.  While the trials come, they are there for our personal growth, to humble, to refine and to strengthen.

Years ago, my world fell apart. Everything I thought I knew about myself, about my Savior, about my Heavenly Father, and about the promises made in the temple and at baptism vanished into a sea of tribulation into which I am still occasionally flung.  I honestly believed that I would never be “perfect”, because I failed my Heavenly Father.  Even now, I struggle with the aftermath of this devastation, but it doesn’t suck me into the depths of despair anymore.  My Heavenly Father has said that “this is my work and my glory, to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.”  He has also said that “men are that they might have joy.”  It is these wonderful words of scripture and the amazing blessings in my life that remind me each day of my goal: perfection, which is to obtain the presence of my Heavenly Father and His Son.

I think constantly of the Savior, and try each day to be more like Him.  A few years ago, a Primary song caught my heart, and has never let go.  It reminds me what I should be doing to be like my Savior.

If the Savior stood beside me,

Would I do the things I do?

Would I think of His commandments and try harder to be true?

Would I follow His example?

Would I live more righteously if I could see the Savior standing nigh,

watching over me?

If the Savior stood beside me,

Would I say the things I say?

Would my words be true and kind if He were never far away?

Would I try to share the gospel?

Would I speak more rev’rently if I could see the Savior standing nigh,

watching over me?

If the Savior stood beside me, would my thoughts be clean and pure?

Would His presence give me strength and hope and courage to endure?

Would His counsel guide my actions?

Would I choose more worthily if I could see the Savior standing nigh

watching over me?

He is always near me, though I do not see Him there,

And because He loves me dearly,

I am in His watchful care,

So I’ll be the kind of person that I know I’d like to be

if I could see the Savior standing nigh watching over me.

I will be the kind of person that I know I’d like to be

if I could see the Savior standing nigh watching over me.

The right choice won’t always be made.  The commandments won’t always be followed perfectly.  And the road will not be easy, and there may not be an end in sight.  We should never give up.  We should never give in.  In the words of Elder Nelson:

We need not be dismayed if our earnest efforts toward perfection now seem so arduous and endless. Perfection is pending. It can come in full only after the Resurrection and only through the Lord. It awaits all who love him and keep his commandments. It includes thrones, kingdoms, principalities, powers, and dominions.   It is the end for which we are to endure.  It is the eternal perfection that God has in store for each of us.

I look forward to the day when I will return to my Heavenly Father, when I will stand with my Savior, and when I will know of their perfect love for me.  Until then, though imperfect, I know the day is coming when my perfection will be complete.

I am often reminded of the story of Mary and Martha, who were blessed to live at the time of Jesus Christ, and to know Him well.  Sister Bonnie D. Parking, former Relief Society General President, relates

Martha lived in the small village of Bethany, where she “received [Jesus] into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, which also sat at Jesus’ feet and heard his word.”  Both women loved the Lord. And “Jesus loved Martha, and [Mary].”  In fact, their relationship breached convention, for at that time women were not usually able to discuss the gospel with men.

On one occasion Martha was making dinner and, as the scripture says, “was cumbered about much serving.”  In other words, she was stressed out!

Mary, on the other hand, “sat at Jesus’ feet, and heard his word,”  while Martha became increasingly upset that no one was helping her. Does that sound familiar? Do you think she was thinking, “Why is Mary sitting there while I’m sweating over this stove?” So Martha turned to Jesus and said, “Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me.” 

The Lord’s gentle invitation to Martha may have surprised her. “Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.” 

The Savior’s response strikingly clarified what mattered most. On that evening in Martha’s home, the good part was not in the kitchen; it was at the Lord’s feet. Dinner could wait.

When we put the lists and expectations of the Lord first, all other things that are ours to accomplish do not become insignificant, rather, it strengthens our ability to complete the “cumbered about” moments.  I often think of my afternoons with my children.  Between homework, and practicing, making dinner, completing chores… it is difficult to “choose the better part” among all the clamoring about.  And yet, the mornings are the highlight of our day, for we arise, complete our tasks quickly, and are able to sit and share a prayer and the words of God over breakfast.  This peaceful start to our day gives us the spiritual strength we need to get through whatever may come, and unites us as a family.  While we do occasionally miss this opportunity, we do our best to keep trying each day.

While my lists, my expectations, and my advance planning may give me some guidance, it is the Lord’s planning that makes all the difference.  When we look to Him, when we rely on the Savior, all of the busy-ness of following the commandments becomes extraneous in our minds and hearts.  We realize that this is a simple gospel.  This is a peaceful and touching story.  When we put the Savior first, and realize fully His role in our salvation, we can find the inner peace and joy described by Elder Nelson.

Be still, my soul: The Lord is on thy side;

With patience bear thy cross of grief or pain.

Leave to thy God to order and provide;

In ev'ry change he faithful will remain.

Be still, my soul: Thy best, thy heav'nly Friend

Thru thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul: Thy God doth undertake

To guide the future as he has the past.

Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;

All now mysterious shall be bright at last.

Be still, my soul: The waves and winds still know

His voice who ruled them while he dwelt below.

Be still, my soul: The hour is hast'ning on

When we shall be forever with the Lord,

When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,

Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.

Be still, my soul: When change and tears are past,

All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

A very close friend of mine was recently diagnosed with an illness that will stay with her for the course of her life.  It affects not only her physical responses to things, but the very way she interprets what is happening around her.  Her thought processes are affected so significantly that she must relearn much of what she already knew so that she can adapt it for her new model.  Even is such turmoil, I have been uplifted in watching her priorities – and strengthened by the testimony that has remained.  While she struggles each day, she has put the Lord first in her life.  No matter the struggle, she continually seeks his guidance, his Spirit and his example.  I know that she finds the inner peace for which we all strive, and sees the small joys in everyday life.

This is a gospel – a good news offered by Jesus Christ.  It is true.  It is living.  Our Heavenly Father loves us so much, and sent us to Earth to teach us, to mold us, and to test us. 

I know that the Book of Mormon was brought forth by the prophet Joseph Smith.  It is a true work, and by following the precepts taught therein, we will return to our Heavenly Father. 

I look forward to General Conference next week.  The leaders who speak are prophets, seers and revelators, sent to this time to prepare us to serve in the kingdom and meet God. 

I am so grateful for the family I have been given – my husband and my children, my parents, brothers and sisters, nieces and nephews.  They are lights to my world. 

The friendships I have strengthen me each day, and give me renewed hope for the future.  I look forward to the day when we can all sit down in Heaven together – all safe and blest. 

Until that time, I pray for inner peace, happiness and joy in this life.  I continually see it in my life, and pray as you follow the commandments of the Savior, you will find it also.

In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.